I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
