my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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