How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
