good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize