I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
