is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
