Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
