Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
