maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
