I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize