i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
