once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
