I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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