at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
