so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize