I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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