Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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