I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i love accidental penises.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
