:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
