Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
