Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize