i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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