there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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