Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
