Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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