A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
