your room smells of hookers.
And success
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
