Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
