i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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