I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
