if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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