problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
