Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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