Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
