I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
