We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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