please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
