after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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