You smell like a Billy Joel song
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
His nipple licking is glorious
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