Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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