He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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