Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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