he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
