if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
