I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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