No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
