he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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