did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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