just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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