It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
