pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
