Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
