so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
