After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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