I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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