the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
