"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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