Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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