I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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