i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize