So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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